JEFFREYS SPRAY

BRUCE'S BEAUTIES: On Saturday, Bruce Gold/ Catweasel/ Gandolph  made an appearance out of the Fynbos bushes on a unicorn. He used his magical staff to grant Gabe Kling three wishes.

LEG FOUND: The local Port Elizabeth newspaper has all the requisite articles for this time of year; Shaun Payne winning his wildcard into the main event, Madiba's birthday celebration. However check the headline on the left hand side 'Leg Found Floating In Flooded Boiler Room'. The rogue leg was found in a coal room at the Dora Nginza Hospial in downtown PE.  The leg's not medical waste as the hospital doesn't do amputations. Sizwe Kupelo who's handling the situation said "There are many possibilities of how this could have happened."  Speculation as to just who carried out the macabre crime includes: "Doctor, nurse, patient, security, or there is a serial killer around the hospital." Great place to go if you're sick, six months ago in the same hospital, a doctor was found to be, umm, not a doctor - "Residents said though they had never suspected he was not a real doctor, his untidy appearance and how he dressed in flip-flops, baggy jeans and creased clothing, and the way he was 'too friendly with the female patients' made them question his professionalism and ability."

THE MECHANICS OF UNPREDICTABILITY : Raised on Noosa's pointbreaks, Julian's no stranger to mechanical righthanders. There's nothing mechanical about what he does to them though.  

COUSIN JEFFREY: Cousin Jeffrey, was Jerry's relative on Seinfeld who worked for the parks department and got Jerry tickets to a Paul Simon concert. Jeffreys Bay was named after him soon after. Not many people know this.

NEW BYLAWS: Not everyone can follow a simple directive. Welcome to the worst sight gag yet seen on this site.